Golf as an environmental endeavor?

With all the “green” metaphors flying around these days, perhaps this was bound to happen:

Fees imposed for environmental initiatives have been turned into “green fees.”

Sound familiar?

Golf courses have been charging greens fees for decades. Those are fees that golfers pay to play a round a golf.

Presumably, greens fees could go toward paying green fees, making them green greens fees. And presumably, this could make it difficult to tell the environmentalists from the golfers and the golfers from the environmentalists.

I suggest yelling “Fore!” and seeing who ducks.

Then again, we could avoid greens fees altogether and use Loch Ness as a driving range. Thousands of people have already done that, apparently driving the Loch Ness monster into hiding, littering the bottom of the loch with balls and raising questions about the environmental friendliness of lost golf balls.

You can see the mini-sub digging up golf balls in Loch Ness here. That’s mundane stuff compared to this video showing actual footage of the Loch Ness monster.

Only after I saw this did I understand the reason for all those golf balls at the bottom of the loch.

The monster, you see, is really a 3-iron – a giant green 3-iron.

How appropriate.

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