How much worse can it get for poor Stanley the cat?
His teeth have fallen out. He has BBs embedded in his head and hip. He has irritable bowel syndrome. He drools when you pet him. People pester him constantly when he tries to nap in his tent in the front window of Sunflower Outdoor and Bike.
If all those ignominious maladies weren’t enough, someone ups and calls him a pre-Madonna.
Calling him a pre-Madonna insinuates that he’s something like 130 years old, at least in human terms.
Consider this from Obiter Dicta’s own Say What? Dictionary:
pre-Madonna (adj.) before Madonna.
1. Madonna’s first album was in 1983, so anything before that could be considered pre-Madonna.
2. Madonna was born in 1958, so anything before 1958 could be considered pre-Madonna (highly unlikely but possible).
3. (n.) You’re kidding, right?
Now let’s consider this from American Heritage:
pri·ma donna (prē’mə, prĭm’ə) n.
1. The leading woman soloist in an opera company.
2. A temperamental, conceited person.
I’d say that Stanley sounds more like a prima donna than pre-Madonna. He does live in a retail store, though, so you could call him the Material Cat.
Even so, it’s a good thing Stanley can’t read. I’m afraid he’d be embarrassed for us.
After all, today is National Grammar Day.